Time for coaching by Yvonne Thackray
Coaching provides the time and space to investigate how our subjective experience of time relates to objective measures of time and explore the nature of temporal consciousness (Bergson, 1910). This understanding is crucial in human development as it shapes our sense of self, our ability to plan and make decisions, and our overall cognitive functioning (Hoerl & McCormack, 2018). It can also enable us to raise questions about the nature of responsibility, accountability, and the impact of our actions over time (Bergson, 1910) as a way to inform our understanding of moral agency, the consequences of our choices, and our obligations to future generations.
For coaches, we make use of time to create the space for these desired investigations. Time is the container that is used to represent the service that is both offered and delivered to the clients.
Time acts as a common reference point: clock time serves as a standardised way to synchronise our activities and schedule an event, like a coaching session. It also symbolises the value received as well as the transactional value for engaging in coaching that focuses on clients’ needs and goals.
Time, thereafter in each session becomes an open space for exploring their perceptual and sequential ordering of macroscopic phenomena, temporal consciousness, that form and shape their everyday experience to achieve their working goals whilst working with their coach to have a better understanding of the passage of their events to achieve their outcomes.
Thus, in the coaching context, time is both a parameter and a container for reflection that spans the duration of the continuing lived experiences that is drawn to attention, a space for learning-unlearning-(re)learning, realising growth and development, and continuing developing character within a series of timed scheduled events.
Amplifying coaching value through time
Every coach, whether consciously or subconsciously, practically applies this in part or whole and at varying degrees of depth with every client they meet. Typically, the way their approach develops depends on their aspirations and desires for delivering coaching. With time and experience, there are valuable tips that can be used to guide us in coaching, for example:
First meeting vs Ongoing meetings: If you are meeting with a client for the first time, you may need to allocate more time to build rapport and trust. This could be a 90-minute meeting where you can take the time to understand their needs, discuss your services, and establish a comfortable working relationship. Alternatively, a succinct 30-minute chemistry session where you answer and demonstrate how coaching will be effective and keep to time as that is important to them. On the other hand, if you are meeting with an on-going client, a 30-minute catch-up might be sufficient. This is particularly true if you are checking in on an ongoing project or discussing a well-defined topic. Alternatively, a 90-minute coaching session may also be required to continue exploring their recent experiences and challenges impacting their performance in their current roles. Building the appropriate flexibility that fits your way of practicing is valuable.
The nature of the challenge. If the client presents an unknown challenge, you might need a more extended meeting to understand the issue fully. Conversely, a known challenge might require less time, primarily if you have dealt with similar situations.
The breadth and depth of the challenge. A broad challenge might necessitate a longer session to cover an array of necessary points, whilst a narrow discipline might be delivered through coaching adequately in a shorter timeframe.
The method of coaching. For example, in instructional coaching, where you are coaching the client on some specific skills or knowledge, this might require a series of structured sessions to ensure understanding in a fixed period of time. In contrast, open coaching, which is more about enabling the client's to expand and deepen their own problem-solving process, might require more frequent sessions of varying durations over a period of time.
Self-selected or selected clients: A self-selected client has sought you out for your specific expertise and may have more complex needs. With selected clients, you might need to spend more time building up rapport and trust and work on challenges they think will be fitting for the sessions.
Each coach has their own unique ways of amplifying the value their clients will receive in their coaching that leads to an observable or sensed coaching moment per session. The cumulation of these moments in turn forms the overall coaching experience for the services contracted, and sometimes these ‘profound’ moments remain as a memory even longer after the program has ended. These moments is what qualifies and legitimizes our work, regardless of whatever approach or process we might apply. From the moment the client turns up, walking in through the door or when the bell chimes that they have entered our screen, the coach instantaneously receives various data on what the client is feeling in a few seconds of what they might expect to gain from this time together, which may be nothing at all through to having too high expectations of what coaching can do. It is our work as a coach to turn this valuable data and information into micro-moments of mutual engagement that,
Reinforces the confidential space we are inviting our clients to want to belong to, and
Becomes a part of their learning moment through reflection, receiving information, and alternative perspectives, that
Enables them to find their first steps to better engage with their future.
The amount of work and effort a coach applies as soon as they start coaching is often indiscernible to our clients, even for coaches who are delivering the work as well as between coaches, because coaches are typically trained to trust the process more than objectively investigating the process and their approach. Recognising the micro and macro moments in coaching, expected and unexpected, is what I think we want to have more of as coaches because we have created the right conditions for our clients to choose to share what is most pressing and important to them to deal with in our time together.
Let me share an example from my practice to explore this further.
What is the hook?
Typically, I’m sitting and waiting for my client to turn up as it’s very rare that my clients will turn up before me. Regardless of whether I turn up half a minute before my clients or half an hour, I go through a subconscious ritual of clearing out what was in my mind beforehand to focusing on the now, the present moment, of what is about to happen. That is the time when I can sense the butterflies in my stomach or feel some of my nervousness or tensions that might have suddenly bubbled up as I think about what state my clients will be arriving, and how best to begin our session and coaching conversation together. If I am meeting the client for the first time I might officially signal and start the session by explicitly asking, “what is it they want to achieve in their [coaching] session today.” Most of the time, particularly with clients who have invested their time to develop themselves through coaching, it can be slightly more challenging because they often feel comfortable and in control of our conversation, and sometimes after a simple social exchange which can be both short and quite lengthy, will have indicated in their own way when the coaching has begun in their mind. Noticing when this shift has happened without having to explicitly label it as so, becomes my point of entry that shifts my attention from a coach who’s capturing data that’s being shared as part of a social ritual to a coach who’s working on the coaching challenge shared by the client.
Regardless of what is being shared as soon as they meet you, there is much information to decipher from what has been said to elaborate further on how they are feeling and what they decide to bring into the session. In my practice, I don't think I have been able to guess or be informed in advance about what they might bring into the session. People are people, and the clients whom I partner with are those who choose to honestly share what it is they want to share and go from there. This is the deluge of information that is shared that follows the rationale of the client of what it is they want to express with you in the moment. This approach works for my practice because a comment that I typically hear at the end of my session is, “I don’t know what I’d expect from our coaching as I often don’t know what I am going to bring till I sit down and start speaking.” When I first heard this, I admit it sent me into a spiral that made me question if I was doing the right thing, however, what I realised after I reflected on my feelings and what my clients were saying, especially as they are my regular clients who have renewed their contract more than once, that this is actually a compliment.
Two other shifts I notice in myself when I am immersed in a coaching conversation with my client is,
Whether I need to explicitly ask myself in my own mind, “what is the intention of what it is they are wanting to share with me right now?” I have found this to be a useful to refocus on what’s most important in that moment amongst all that has been shared verbally, non-verbally, and based on my understanding of what’s most important to them.
Another is how much I can recreate in my mind’s eye an image of what is it they are expressing and what they want to share that’s impacting them, and using that to further enable the coaching. For some coaches who have observed this, they have commented that it looks as if I am in a trance because I am focused and concentrating on, as best as I can, on every nuance that is being shared and said.
By the end of any of my coaching sessions, I first sense the amount of effort I have used as I work observing my energy levels. More often than not, I don’t notice that I have used all or a significant amount of my energy until the coaching has ended and we’re back into the normal social rituals to finish the session. And so from this information that I receive after my sessions, I can gauge how immersed I was in the session and the ways it has been emotionally draining (as it includes containing the highs and lows of my client’s feelings and emotions without letting it affect me apart from when I am showing empathy) and reflect on the ways I’ve explored and challenged their rationale: thinking and decision making processes. I also note how impacted I am by each session in the way I can objectively reflect on the session and move on from that session so that I am no longer psychologically connected to the coaching remnants that’s lingering in my memory, particularly as I rely on my memory to bring back those relevant facts and experiences that’s most useful to consider again when we next engage in our coaching conversations. Doing all of this work requires sustained concentration and effort to support, engage and enable the shifts that will allow them to be able to take away an outcome or an action, or both, to work on between sessions as they see how it might integrate into their day to day life.
I think what has helped me in developing my practice over time, is to develop a habit of reflecting on what I have done in coaching, which in turn at periodic times make me question whether I am still fit to practice and when I would no longer be fit to practice. Another is being comfortable with the uncertainty and relevance of the information that has been provided that is an important soliloquy that I am privileged to listen to and witness, and depending on the intention it will either provide an entry into the coaching conversation itself or to deepen it, or it’s simply something that the client need to say to complete what they haven’t been able to complete yet in their way and needs no further explain, or because of anxiety they are simply filling the space. For me, as I sit and listen to my client talk at me, I am internally processing and asking myself questions about what they saying, in particular what’s the intention behind what was being said – this is more so for those clients whom I have worked longer with – and why I think I exist to partner with them as their coach. In other words, my clients have determined that there is a pattern in the way I coach that enables them to establish the types of insights they desire from that conversation in the moment that offers them clarity, consistency and comfort that they will leave with what they need. Typically, in my case, I've noticed that there is something around accountability, a challenge to think and reflect on what it is they have done or plan to do, as well as want to know more about themselves in what they do, and to have a healthy dose of certainty that they have the resources, or can acquire them, to engage with their future.
Holding this space requires me, as the coach, to continually develop and deepen both my maturity, an objective understanding of what it is I’m doing, have comfort in not knowing, and also the humility to know that everyone's experience is their own and that they don't know everything, and even if they do know something that there is still more to know. Learning never stops for the coach, and it's seeing those hooks that my clients throw in front of me which I need to hold as it manifests itself to become the coaching conversation they want it to be so that they are again ready to be the owner of their hook in an altered and objective form that enables them to take action that’s coherent with what they think is the right outcome for them in this moment in time for their present and future.
No time to waste
Setting this as a standard in the way I approach my coaching practice means that every moment in which I have been allocated a scheduled period of time I am continuously finding ways to add value to my clients who have chosen this mode of discovery to delve into their challenges, explore different perspectives, and work towards their goals. Each session acts as a stepping stone in their journey to their goal, which includes working on and being accountable, with the time spent in each session serving as work done and a marker of their progress. Furthermore, the time spent in each session also reflects my client's commitment to their personal or professional development. By dedicating a set amount of time to coaching, clients demonstrate their willingness to invest in their growth and success. This perceived value of time can significantly enhance the effectiveness of the coaching sessions, leading to more meaningful and lasting outcomes.
Ultimately, how I define the purpose of coaching is underpinned by the definition we use at the good coach: coaching helps to (re) stabilise a client's identity that then enables them to find solutions to their challenge. Not only does this fit alongside Bergson's exploration of the relationship between time and the self, where the notion of personal identity is not a static entity but is constantly shaped and transformed by the flux and flow of time. Bergson suggests that our true self is discovered in the present moment, where the past and future converge, and we engage with the living reality of duration. One of the mediums through which this 'true self' or (re) stabilised identity can be achieved is through coaching because of its focus on then making use of this moment to find their way to take a step forward into the future as a result of their clarity and awareness of what the past and present now means to them.
In essence, time in a coaching context is more than just a schedule or a measure of duration. It is a valuable resource that, when used effectively, can facilitate profound change and growth. It is both a tool and a canvas, shaping the structure of the coaching relationship while also being shaped by the unfolding dynamics of each session.
Definitions:
Perception of Time: The philosophy of time sheds light on the subjective perception of time. It helps individuals gain insights into their own sense of time, why it may feel fast or slow, and how to manage their perception of time effectively to enhance productivity and well-being.
Sequential ordering of time: Our macroscopic experience of time involves perceiving and organising events sequentially. We remember past events, navigate the present and plan for the future based on this temporal succession.
Understanding the Passage of Events: Time is intimately tied to the progression of events and experiences in our lives. By understanding how time functions and comparing different philosophical perspectives on time, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the flow of events and make sense of their experiences.
Macroscopic experiences and phenomena deal with everyday objects and observations: These objects have well-defined positions, momenta, and other properties independent of observation.
The everyday experience of time: This refers to how humans perceive the passage of time and navigate their daily lives concerning macroscopic phenomena. It encompasses our intuitive understanding of time's flow, the sequential ordering of events, and our ability to track the duration of intervals.
Duration. This represents Bergson's definition of the flow of time as experienced subjectively, where past, present, and future are interwoven.
References
Bergson, H. (1910). Time and Free Will: An Essay on the Immediate Data of Consciousness. Martino Fine Books.
Hoerl, C. & McCormack, T. (2018). Thinking in and about time: a dual systems perspective on temporal cognition. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, p. 42. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0140525x18002157
